How to Be Miserable
In Six Simple Strategies for Achieving Misery, Sol Herzig takes a humorous, but all too true, look at the work required to keep serenity and joy at bay and attract misery into your life. The piece is worth reading in its entirety. I will try to give you a taste:
"The strategies outlined below, practiced regularly, vastly improve our odds of achieving misery.
1. Cling to Entitlement...be aware that life owes you and that you were put on this planet to collect.
2. It's All Personal. Malicious intent is always present if you just look carefully enough...
3. Focus on Problems...Nurture the attitude that you can't really move on to anything unless everything is resolved first...
4. Magnify...Why would anyone ever want to think of themselves as "just human" when "fatally flawed" and "irredeemably warped" are available?...
5. Expect Catastrophe...People sometimes protest that their bodies feel perfectly fine. Not to worry! Think "Silent Killers"...
6. Just Say "No Thanks" to Gratitude...At an advanced level, you can even learn to see the bad in the good. For instance, should you get a big raise you could immediately focus on the tax implications...
